percivalthegale (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
percivalthegale) wrote2009-02-23 12:17 am
percivalthegale) wrote2009-02-23 12:17 am
an overdue update
I regret that I did not take the time to write down my thoughts before deciding to up and leave, but it was rather unplanned and, as I see it now, necessary. I feel a bit better, and the nightmares have stopped - in fact, they stopped the very night I left. Here's hoping they don't return tonight, now that I'm back at the castle. Yet, I wrote down enough about the dreams I was having, I don't want to think back on them anymore. This entry is only to remind myself of where I've been, and what I've discovered.
I only rode as far as Iksay the first day and spent two nights there. Mother was happy to see me, since my birthday was coming, but I didn't stay that long. I only spent the day with her, helping her with some baking, and rode off the next morning for Brass Castle. The long ride alone was pleasant enough in this winter weather, but I arrived very late and had to use the passwords to get through the gate. Of course, that was Valentine's Day, so my appearance practically terrified the guards - they figured that for me, of all people, to be riding to Brass Castle, I had to be carrying a message of utmost importance. As in, rather than enjoying a date or two somewhere. Blasted fools. I had to disappoint them with the plain news that I was there on leave and simply cold and tired and wanting my bed. Thankfully, Leo was in Vinay when I arrived, or I'm sure I would have been dragged down for a drink on the spot.
I slept in, but in the morning discovered that Midnight had thrown a shoe - probably when we first hit the cobblestones of the castle. The farrier wasn't available, though, so I set about doing what I came to Brass Castle for in the first place. There is a small rectory for traveling clerics just outside the keep, so I went to see if there was anyone I could hold conference with. There was, and we did talk for quite a while, but I left without any answers and my heart still misgiving me. More than one of the infantrymen around remembered that it was my birthday and tried to get me to go out for drinks, but I only had dinner and a glass of wine with Roland, and went to bed. At least, that is all I will say about my rather lackluster birthday. The following day, I sought out a different farrier who had the time, and had Midnight's shoe replaced. He did some fine work. I went back to the rectory and actually sat in the chapel for a while, praying and thinking, but I only felt worse after all that. I don't think that's how it's supposed to work. Leo returned that evening. I had to feign illness to keep from going out after dinner.
The following day, I went riding. I don't know what possessed me to ride out onto the plains to the memorial stone marking the battlefield where Captain Galahad and Vice-Captain Pelize died, but that's what I did. Considering the nightmares I had about the good captain's death, maybe I felt like paying my respects. That is about where my journey took a turn for the strange. A Karayan hunting party found me there, and when I assured them I was only there for the memorial (after all, I was not in armor - I left that here at Budehuc) they invited me to ride with them back to the village to spend the night. I had ridden out there with no supplies, just riding aimlessly across the plains, so I took them up on it. I expected a cold welcome if any, but they were very civil. I suppose it helped that I wasn't so much an ironhead at the moment as I was a lost traveler. I didn't see anyone I knew until the next morning, when Lucia asked to speak with me. I thought it would be about my presence there, and I was ready to prepare to leave, but she said...that a shaman had anticipated my coming. That they sensed that I was the one who needed help. I asked her to introduce me to this shaman. He was a funny old man, rather like old Piccolo, but very sharp. The things he said to me...I wish I had written them all down at the time. He made far more sense to me than the cleric. But he said no one can fix me except for me. I have to let go of the things I'm afraid of, and live the life I want in the moment. It was hard to hear, but it was necessary. I ate with Beecham that evening, it was surprisingly pleasant considering the past animosities between Zexen and the Grasslands. But it seems even those who have the most right to cling to their hatred have let it go, as I have. It was a refreshing change.
I rode back the next day, to the consternation of the knights who had no idea where I disappeared off to for days. But that was the last of it. Even Brass Castle was too confining, too full of people I didn't want to spend time with. Too many ladies trying to get me to stay on longer, too many knights asking for a sparring lesson or a drink. I packed my things and left the very next morning, riding north. I really wanted to go up into the mountains and fight some nameless creatures just to get it out of my system, to prove myself or something, but the trails were impassible and I had to turn aside. The nearest shelter was the Lizard Clan's Hollow. I was positive they wouldn't allow me in, not even if I spoke my most polite, but Bazba was on duty at the time and remembered me, and said I could pass. I swore I only wanted shelter for the night so I could set out for Budehuc in the morning. The Lizards generally don't open up their gates in the winter for anyone, much less a perceived foe. That meant I had the inn to myself, and slept like the dead. When I arose, and looked for some food and supplies to get me home, Bazba came and asked me my business in that region. I told him the truth, him and Shiba both, and they suggested that I fight the Clan champion instead. I don't know if they were bored, or thought it would be interesting, but I decided to challenge him, so long as they understood that it wasn't to redress the past at all, but rather to settle my spirit right here and now.
Well, I got trounced. Soundly. I'm still sore in places, bruises upon bruises. I had no armor, only my leather gambeson and my gloves. Yet, I'm fast, and sparring with Watari taught me a few tricks. It was a well-fought match at the start, but once the big lug started knocking me around, I got weak quickly. I had to yield. But I wasn't bitter, strangely. I deserved it, going into a fight like that with no purpose and no heart for it. The Lizards had a good time cheering on their champion, and he claimed it was a good fight. They healed my wounds and had a small feast to celebrate - I swear, Lizards will celebrate the drop of a hat. I was completely among strangers (save the chief, and Bazba) and yet I felt welcome. The strong drink Lizards prefer was too much for me, though, I simply retired early so I could get an early start back. From there, I rode straight across the plains to Budehuc without stopping. I noticed the strange glow in the sky from a few miles out, and hurried, because it looked like the castle was on fire. Then I get here to find that the Sun Rune has created a second sun!
I don't know what's going to happen next. I must speak with Lord Salome...and then perhaps with Kathy, in time. But this rune problem is going to make settling my personal matters difficult. All that riding alone did give me time to think, however, and I have something of a plan. At least, I know what changes I need to make to myself in order to hopefully unwind some of the knots in my soul.
It's wonderful to have Borus here. Even if I can't tell him everything - I can't tell anyone everything - I can at least bare more of my heart to him than anyone else. He may have been sent at the right time, for me. None too soon, that's for certain.
I only rode as far as Iksay the first day and spent two nights there. Mother was happy to see me, since my birthday was coming, but I didn't stay that long. I only spent the day with her, helping her with some baking, and rode off the next morning for Brass Castle. The long ride alone was pleasant enough in this winter weather, but I arrived very late and had to use the passwords to get through the gate. Of course, that was Valentine's Day, so my appearance practically terrified the guards - they figured that for me, of all people, to be riding to Brass Castle, I had to be carrying a message of utmost importance. As in, rather than enjoying a date or two somewhere. Blasted fools. I had to disappoint them with the plain news that I was there on leave and simply cold and tired and wanting my bed. Thankfully, Leo was in Vinay when I arrived, or I'm sure I would have been dragged down for a drink on the spot.
I slept in, but in the morning discovered that Midnight had thrown a shoe - probably when we first hit the cobblestones of the castle. The farrier wasn't available, though, so I set about doing what I came to Brass Castle for in the first place. There is a small rectory for traveling clerics just outside the keep, so I went to see if there was anyone I could hold conference with. There was, and we did talk for quite a while, but I left without any answers and my heart still misgiving me. More than one of the infantrymen around remembered that it was my birthday and tried to get me to go out for drinks, but I only had dinner and a glass of wine with Roland, and went to bed. At least, that is all I will say about my rather lackluster birthday. The following day, I sought out a different farrier who had the time, and had Midnight's shoe replaced. He did some fine work. I went back to the rectory and actually sat in the chapel for a while, praying and thinking, but I only felt worse after all that. I don't think that's how it's supposed to work. Leo returned that evening. I had to feign illness to keep from going out after dinner.
The following day, I went riding. I don't know what possessed me to ride out onto the plains to the memorial stone marking the battlefield where Captain Galahad and Vice-Captain Pelize died, but that's what I did. Considering the nightmares I had about the good captain's death, maybe I felt like paying my respects. That is about where my journey took a turn for the strange. A Karayan hunting party found me there, and when I assured them I was only there for the memorial (after all, I was not in armor - I left that here at Budehuc) they invited me to ride with them back to the village to spend the night. I had ridden out there with no supplies, just riding aimlessly across the plains, so I took them up on it. I expected a cold welcome if any, but they were very civil. I suppose it helped that I wasn't so much an ironhead at the moment as I was a lost traveler. I didn't see anyone I knew until the next morning, when Lucia asked to speak with me. I thought it would be about my presence there, and I was ready to prepare to leave, but she said...that a shaman had anticipated my coming. That they sensed that I was the one who needed help. I asked her to introduce me to this shaman. He was a funny old man, rather like old Piccolo, but very sharp. The things he said to me...I wish I had written them all down at the time. He made far more sense to me than the cleric. But he said no one can fix me except for me. I have to let go of the things I'm afraid of, and live the life I want in the moment. It was hard to hear, but it was necessary. I ate with Beecham that evening, it was surprisingly pleasant considering the past animosities between Zexen and the Grasslands. But it seems even those who have the most right to cling to their hatred have let it go, as I have. It was a refreshing change.
I rode back the next day, to the consternation of the knights who had no idea where I disappeared off to for days. But that was the last of it. Even Brass Castle was too confining, too full of people I didn't want to spend time with. Too many ladies trying to get me to stay on longer, too many knights asking for a sparring lesson or a drink. I packed my things and left the very next morning, riding north. I really wanted to go up into the mountains and fight some nameless creatures just to get it out of my system, to prove myself or something, but the trails were impassible and I had to turn aside. The nearest shelter was the Lizard Clan's Hollow. I was positive they wouldn't allow me in, not even if I spoke my most polite, but Bazba was on duty at the time and remembered me, and said I could pass. I swore I only wanted shelter for the night so I could set out for Budehuc in the morning. The Lizards generally don't open up their gates in the winter for anyone, much less a perceived foe. That meant I had the inn to myself, and slept like the dead. When I arose, and looked for some food and supplies to get me home, Bazba came and asked me my business in that region. I told him the truth, him and Shiba both, and they suggested that I fight the Clan champion instead. I don't know if they were bored, or thought it would be interesting, but I decided to challenge him, so long as they understood that it wasn't to redress the past at all, but rather to settle my spirit right here and now.
Well, I got trounced. Soundly. I'm still sore in places, bruises upon bruises. I had no armor, only my leather gambeson and my gloves. Yet, I'm fast, and sparring with Watari taught me a few tricks. It was a well-fought match at the start, but once the big lug started knocking me around, I got weak quickly. I had to yield. But I wasn't bitter, strangely. I deserved it, going into a fight like that with no purpose and no heart for it. The Lizards had a good time cheering on their champion, and he claimed it was a good fight. They healed my wounds and had a small feast to celebrate - I swear, Lizards will celebrate the drop of a hat. I was completely among strangers (save the chief, and Bazba) and yet I felt welcome. The strong drink Lizards prefer was too much for me, though, I simply retired early so I could get an early start back. From there, I rode straight across the plains to Budehuc without stopping. I noticed the strange glow in the sky from a few miles out, and hurried, because it looked like the castle was on fire. Then I get here to find that the Sun Rune has created a second sun!
I don't know what's going to happen next. I must speak with Lord Salome...and then perhaps with Kathy, in time. But this rune problem is going to make settling my personal matters difficult. All that riding alone did give me time to think, however, and I have something of a plan. At least, I know what changes I need to make to myself in order to hopefully unwind some of the knots in my soul.
It's wonderful to have Borus here. Even if I can't tell him everything - I can't tell anyone everything - I can at least bare more of my heart to him than anyone else. He may have been sent at the right time, for me. None too soon, that's for certain.